Thoughts

I wanted to Tweet about some thoughts but didn't have enough characters. I wanted to post on Facebook about my thoughts but assumed that people would be bored by such a long post. So I came back to ol' faithful - Le Blog. So if you want to read some thoughts and get into my head, read on. If not, you might want to close this tab now :) 

I usually start off my blogs with something light-hearted or funny.... But this time I'm just gonna get straight into it.

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds;  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24.

Ephesians is one of my favourite books in the Bible. It's almost like a sermon rather than a letter.  It contains prayers and moments where I think silence is required.

"The main subject of Ephesians is what Paul calls 'the mystery'... a wonderful truth never revealed but now made known." - William MacDonald

This 'mystery' is referring to how the Jews and Gentiles are now one through Jesus. How we are now together seated with Christ. I love how this shows us so much about God's heart for the whole World. Ephesians also contains a lot of teaching about our response to His grace, and what it means to truly love one another in Christ; as His body. Ephesians is only 6 chapters long but is full of rich words which always fill me up.
If you want more thoughts or context, christnotes.org is always good because now we're strictly in "Christy's thought-land". A lot of what I write will be pretty straight forward and obvious. But I just need to write it down and lay it all out... So don't be put off by the obvious.

ANYWAY


"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds;  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." Ephesians 4:22-24.

I've often come back to these verses throughout my life and have always been challenged by them. I've asked a lot of questions... Here's some questions & thoughts, not necessarily "right answers", but simply thoughts.

The first question that comes to my mind is what is my 'self'? 

'Self' encompasses every area of my life. My ‘self’ is my body, soul, spirit. Simply put, it is me.
So why, then, would a benevolent God who created me, want my whole self to change?
Being holy & totally loving, He sees the potential for which I was created. He sees His purpose which is yet to be outworked in my life. My former way of life is corrupting my 'self'. It's selling me short. Here's why: my deceitful desires. 

To be deceived is to be sold a lie as truth. Therefore, my deceitful desires promise me something they can't deliver.
I've been challenged a lot on this in my own life. I see how I've acted on desires that, on the outside, have promised wholeness and instead have left me empty. If the deepest call and highest command is to love God & love others, deceitful desires will point me away from that. They will point me to gratifying myself and promising something that isn't there. I need to ask myself this question: if Jesus really is my portion - all I need, what is it that I'm looking for in something else that I should be looking for in Him? Or, what is it that I want to satisfy that should be satisfied in Him?

So how do I '...put off the old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires'? I am made new in the attitudes of my mind.

To be 'made new' insinuates that it's something I can't do alone. You can't make yourself. It's only with the help of the Holy Spirit that I, as a fallen being, can be made new. He does require of me some action, as it's in every aspect of building The Kingdom of God that we co-labour with Christ. To build His Kingdom simply means to extend Kingship in the World. His Kingdom includes my mind & therefore my ‘self’. So I must ask Him to give me His thoughts & his desires.

People of most cultures & religions recognise the importance of thought life. As Buddha puts it:

"The thought manifests as the word,
The word manifests as the deed,
The deed develops into habit,
And habit hardens in character,
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love,
Born out of concern for all beings…
As the shadow follows the body,
As we think, so we become"

The mind is an incredibly important part of self. What you dwell on in your mind, what you believe, will eventually come out in your actions. 

Which is why it says, "to be made new in the attitude of your minds;  and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness." In order to 'put on the new self' in order for my life to look like God, I must first learn to 'Take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ.' Knowing that it's in His strength, not my own that I do this.

  

If you're still reading, well done. I'm surprised I haven't bored you to death. I probably would've stopped reading by now. 

Something I have been challenged on lately, as you have probably noticed, is the concept of self.
I need to put off the old self. Everything that is outside of God's intentions for my life. This also means slowly but surely learning about health:

Spiritual
Emotional
Physical
They aren't separate. They are intertwined! 

My heart and focus should always come back to 'Love God, love others', and that is possible at any stage in life. But in order to give God & others my very best, I want to be whole. If that means getting help, so be it! I want to put on the new self! I want to become like God. I want to live the life He intended for me to live. I want to explore the concept of the Kingdom. I want to figure out where I fit. I want His Kingdom to be outworked in my mind & in turn- in my life and in the lives of those around me.

I want to be made new.

Love & peace aways

Christy

  

Lazarus

It's been a while...
The last post I made was November 2011. It's now September 2012. When I began this blog, I vowed to myself that I wouldn't let it die....... It did.
HOWEVER, I did a First Aid course last week. So I'm PULLIN' OUT THE DEFIB!

Have you noticed that no one blogs these days? It's all about short, sharp messages that get straight to the point. No one cares enough to read blogs! Which kinda makes them cooler. It's like, "I'm gonna blog regardless of the fact that no one will ever read it!!" Chances are, no one will read this.  (If you do read this, I'm not being passive agressive and saying that you're no one. Bless you.) If you are reading this, you're probably getting bored about now.

I read this thing recently about the fact that our attention span is getting shorter. We register interest for about three minutes then suddenly die of boredom. I didn't get through the whole article.
Got bored.
Anyways, I wasn't conviced that we could only be stimulated for such a short amount of time. I was certain that I was above the threshold... UNTIL, one day I started looking up videos of Justin Beiber on YouTube (Guilty as charged)... It was totally for educational purposes... I was interested in seeing how his voice had changed since he (finally) went through puberty. So I watched a whole bunch of recent live videos. However, something that confounded me was the fact that when each of the videos had been playing for about 3 minutes I found myself wondering what I could type into the search box next. I thought I was better than that! Apparently not.

I tried to convince myself that if there was something I was truly interested in, I'd give it more attention. I was sure that if someone was talking to me about something important, I would listen wholeheartedly! So I watched myself. If someone was talking to me about anything, how many times did I check my phone, or look at my watch, or how many times did my mind wander to my own problems, or what I'd have for dinner or the funny thing that Jerry said last night, or the song I'd just written, or how much money is in my account, or the movie I watched earlier that day, or do they know how badly they need a breath mint, or how nice the weather is, or what I should've said to so & so in that argument, or how my feet hurt from standing too long or how I need to try the new burger at BK, or how I'm running late to be somewhere, or how I'd rather be anywhere else than here right now, or just generally caring about ME more than THEM?
I'd just like to point out that I wasn't overly thrilled with the results.
I would love to be able to say that the only things that distract me are poverty and how I can actually make a difference for other people. But that would be a lie.

We have become obsessed with the 'quick fix'. What 'satisfies' (if you're wondering, Snickers really satisfies). It's all about NOW. How am I feeling now? It's about me. Me. me. ME. 
The thing is... Life is about NOW. There's no time but now.
However, there are 7 billion other people in the World.
Life should be anything but all about me.


Peace & love always

Christy

Lord, Help me to have insatiable love for You & for your people

COFFEEEEE!!

Who loves coffee?
I used to drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks. It became a kind of addiction.. especially in my first year out of highschool when I worked at KBs... Free coffee and 50% off energy drinks. Relentless (which I think became Mother) was my favourite. Then they brought out those little shot can things which were so good at 7am! But this all changed when I started at Jazz School we had an ENT come to talk to us about vocal health.
She told us that caffiene wasn't good for your voice.. This totally freaked me out so I stopped drinking anything with caffiene in it besides the occasional Earl Grey.

There was this one strange day that I went out for 'coffee' with some friends. I had a cup of tea at about 4:30pm... Half an hour later I had the shakes and felt a bit sick. I didn't think too much of it at the time. Later that night at about 11pm I decided I should probably go to bed. I snuggled up, put my favourite music on, turned off the light and closed my eyes.... There was a problem.... I couldn't keep my eyes shut or turn my body onto 'relax mode', I was wired! After trying to convince myself that I was tired and get to sleep for an hour I got up, ghetto danced in my room for about an hour in hopes of getting rid of the excess energy, got back in bed and tried to sleep... But alas, I was still wide awake! By this time it was about 1.30am. So I got up, spring cleaned my entire room, got rid of 4 rubbish bags full of unwanted clothing & knick-knacks and shifted all my furniture around. Finally I felt slightly tired.. It was 4:30am. TWELVE HOURS after a cup of TEA!!! It was ridiculous how that could affect me SO much! Granted, it was a large cup of tea... But still...

Ever since then whenever I have a drink with any level of caffiene in it without really thinking about what I'm consuming, I find myself wondering why I'm shaky or why I feel sick or why I can't sleep... then it dawns on me: CAFFIENE!

Occasionally even though I do think about the consequences before consuming a caffinated drink, I still do it! -Simply because I like the taste - for that moment of satisfaction. I mean, that's stupid right? Am I the only one who thinks that's silly?
...If you're wondering, I knowingly had a glass of coke at about 10pm tonight... It's 2.14am.... Can't sleep!

This whole caffiene thing is obviously a silly example but it really got me thinking, how often do we as humans do things we KNOW are bad for us because it feels good at the time?
-pigging out?
-drinking too much?
-too much work, too little play?
-too much play, too little work?
-gossipping?
-watching things you know you shouldn't?
-taking advantage of others?
-badmouthing someone?
-bashing someone for their beliefs?
Maybe it's not even doing something wrong, but not doing something right.

There are so many areas that I know are weaknesses for me. But every day I want to get better at making wise decisions.
"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." Romans 7:15.
Couldn't've put it better myself.
I'm thankful that what I do doesn't define who I am... But nonetheless, I want to do things that bring life to other people and also to myself.
Most of all though, I want to bring glory to God.

Hope that di'n't get too heavy for you....

Love and peace always.

Christy

heroes

I like to ponder. Kind of like Pooh Bear.
Today I was pondering, "Who are my heroes? Who inspires me and why?"
I want to share with you about one of those people.
There is one amazing young woman who inspires me to be everything that I can.
She never let anyone belittle her because of her age.
She never let who she was get in the way of who she could be...
She learnt to live above her circumstances and become a shining star - a beacon of light for a lost, dismayed, hopeless, songless generation.
She showed that it doesn't matter where you come from, what you have or don't have; if you follow your heart all your dreams can come true.
She stayed true to her family and friends in amongst growing stardom.
She has the best of both worlds... her name is ...
Hannah Montanna.

Ha. Jokes.

Dinner Time

One of my favourite times of the day is dinner time.
I look forward to it from about 2pm and save my appetite.
I really love food. Particularly a good steak with beer batter fries, salad and a lager. Mmmm... Bliss. Or roast lamb with plenty of tasty veges - can be any medley as long as it includes kumara. I also thoroughly enjoy anything with chicken. Dinner <3
 I love having dinner with people. I love spending time with the ones that I care about over a delicious meal. It's a time of closeness and laughter. It's a time of silliness and happiness. It makes my day.

Psalm 23 says that God prepares a table for us. He performs customs of honour and invite. He wants to hang out with us. I mean, it's obviously an analogy, God's not literally going to make us all a big meal.... But He wants to spend time with us and refresh us, to give us what we need. And when we're with Him in Heaven we can feast with Him. That's pretty darn cool if you ask me.
I've been reflecting on this and wrote a song about it. God wants to make my day. He wants to be silly with me and make me laugh. He wants to give me what I need. RAD.

This song basically talks about shifting tables. From the table of nothingness and lifelessness to God's table.
The chorus is kind of like conversation with God. Then the second chorus is kinda joining with Him in inviting other people to eat with us. There's hope in Him. I choose to eat with Him.

So here's a really average recording of the song that I did on my dictaphone which was sitting on top of my piano - hence the obnoxiously loud piano. Ignore the mistakes haha, kinda tricky to make it perfect in one take with a tired, overused voice. But you get the idea. So here's the vid and lyrics are below. Oh and the picture is the view from my dining room window. Eat with us?

Lyrics:

I won't sit at your table

anymore.
'Cause all I ate was death,
and all you offered me
was lifelessness.
Now I've been invited
to sit with the Author.
He anoints my head
with the finest of oils.
Now I've been invited
to dine with the Author.
He washes my feet.

There is hope in surrender,
in life that is offered -
it's Yours for mine
it's mine for Yours

There is hope in surrender,
in life that is offered -
it's beauty for ashes,
love for hate.

There is hope in surrender,
in Your life that is offered -
it's dancing for mourning,
boldness from shame.

There is hope in Jesus,
in the life that is risen,
it's love for the broken,
freedom from chains.


Love and peace
Christy

Barbies and GI Joes

Man, it's difficult knowing what to write in the first 'official' post. I suppose I should let you know a little about my life story so far. I'm not sure if that's what people normally write about, but who wants to be normal?! Snore!

I was born in Timaru in 1990. And yes, I do regret not being born in the '80s.
I am the daughter of Steve and Gill. I am the sister of Josh and Kate. I am the youngest child by 5 years.
We moved to Christchurch in 1991 after a long 6 months of my life.
I am glad we moved because Christchurch is definitely home for me.
I grew up in a Christian family and naturally formed my own opinion of God and my own relationship with Him.
I was a very happy child for the most part. I enjoyed playing with barbies & G.I.Joes. Hand bags & matchbox cars. Putting on make-up & going hunting. Playing with Granny's necklaces & 4WDing. I guess you could say I was well-rounded. I always loved the two extremes - extremely girly and extremely boyish.

There are some fantastic things about being the youngest in the family:
1.Your parents have had practice on the older children.
For example: they tried disciplining Josh with the switch after hearing from some twit that it was an effective parenting tool. Thankfully, they saw his reaction and never used it again. They also tried being super healthy - needless to say, using wholemeal for fairy bread at Josh and Kate's birthday parties didn't exactly go down well with their guests.

2.You have siblings you can go to for advice.
My brother and sister have counselled me through some really tough decisions by giving me honest opinions and advice.

3.You can get away with anything because you're the 'cute' one. You can also ask for things that may be denied your older, less cute siblings. I never actually feel I got away with more than Josh and Kate because I had such a guilty conscience that I would turn myself in if I even thought about doing something naughty. I did however, experience the latter (ask and ye shall receive). My sister Kate, being the wise youngen she was, often used this to her advantage. She would tell me to ask Mum if we could have KFC for dinner, knowing that Mum couldn't refuse my twinkling eyes and gappy smile.

There are a few things that suck about being the youngest though...
1. Missing out on great experiences that your family had before you were born. My family's trip to Rarotonga in 1989 is the bane of my existence.

2. When your sib's move out of home and you're the last one with no one to play with when it snows.

ANYHOW....
Getting back to my life ....
I went to Middleton Grange School. I was going to go to Bank's Ave which was just around the corner from our house in Shirley but I decided I wanted to be like my sis and go to MGS.
It was pretty much amazing. I was succeeding in life. I was enjoying life. I was doing reasonably well academically apart from reading, which I'm still working on eh Von?;) THEN
SUDDENLY
I broke my left knee cap. I was 9. We were doing long jump practice and hadn't warmed up... I took off, and my incredibly strong muscles (it's genetic) broke my knee clean in two. I heard it click and break in the air. I landed in complete agony. That changed my life a bit. I had surgery to put it back together with nails and wire. My leg was in a brace for 3 months but I still had a lot of trouble with my knee for years to come - pain, stiffness, weakness, floating bone particles etc and it still affects me occasionally! Only really if it's bent up for too long or if I'm playing a high agility sport. Anyway, as you can imagine, without much exercise, I became a chubby kid. I suppose I hit my first real personal hurdle in life: how do I learn to love the person that I am and get over how I feel about myself? This became something that I have battled with for years. But I choose to hear God's voice saying that I am "...fearfully and wonderfully made." above peoples' expectation and above my own disappointment.

I'll save the rest of my story for other posts... Got some juicy stuff you'll want to hear about.
I really want to expand a bit on learning to love yourself.
It's been a long, hard journey with a heck of a lot of mountains and valleys. I have finally learnt to love the person that God has made me. But no I'm not perfect, not even close.
There are a few main things that I think have lead to this point:

1.the knowledge that God made me for a purpose. The fact that He cares for me no matter what I do, say or look like helps me to realise that who I am is worth loving. Because of that, I can share His love with other people and love them regardless of what they do, say or look like.

2. positive affirmations. My sister encouraged me to look in the mirror every morning and tell myself that I accept myself and love myself. To pick out some things that I like about myself and compliment myself. Repeating truth that you know in your head makes you realise that truth in your heart.

3. get around people that pick you up not pull you down. Re-evaluate your friendships.

Love and peace
Christy

soap and water

I've been battling with the urge to start a blog for months. I wanted a place to empty my brain but was afraid that whatever I wrote would end up sounding dumb and unreadable. But hey, here we are... Probably sounding dumb. Sometimes life is just more fun when you let go of your pride and share the spazzy being that you are with the World. So here I am World! Feeling a little vulnerable and extremely spaz.

The name of my blog is soap and water. A few reasons for that:
1. I like the way it sounds
2. I want to write about things that matter - hygiene matters!
3. My blog will always be clean

So why not start my first real post now? Let's cut the cr*p (told you it would stay clean) and get down to the nitty gritty.

Actually, I'm going to start a fresh new post.

BYE!
Christy